Sometimes I forget that we’re all just winging it. We’re all just doing the best we can to survive. Things work out better for some people than others, easier for some than others due to certain factors that mostly come down to luck. Birth lottery. Genetic lottery. Things beyond our control. Then we try to make the best of what we’ve got. But we’re really just winging it.
I used to sing along to Alanis Morissette at the top of my lungs when I felt like screaming, and I felt like screaming a lot in my 20s. It was the unhappiest period of my life. I had my mom, but even she was depressive. I always felt helpless when I saw her cry because there was really nothing I could to make her feel better.
My first memory is of my maternal grandmother’s death (I never knew my paternal grandparents). I was 3. I heard a commotion early in the morning. Grandma had fallen in the bathroom. The next thing I remember was seeing her lifeless body in the living room, all wrapped up except for her face, ready for the funeral; my mom and aunts sobbing by her sides.
I’ve started creating a playlist for our upcoming road trip. It’s one of my favourite parts of trip preparation. I’d add songs that I like the sound of after listening to it for only half a minute at most. It makes listening to the playlist for the first time all that more exciting. Of course there will be surprises. Some pleasant, in that a song turns out to be even better than I thought it would be; some others, the complete opposite. Either way, it’s fun.
Recently I read something about how when you lost someone, you’ll never really get over the loss. You just learned to live without them. It’s because every single person is unique and irreplaceable. So am I. So are you.
Many of my fondest childhood memories involve the sea, or being near it.
Took someone we met through my blog many years ago, who’s visiting from Singapore, on a quick tour of downtown Ottawa at sunset today. My husband kept missing the lookout points so we didn’t stop anywhere and I got no chance to take any pictures. We’re not very good tour guides, obviously. Downtown Ottawa is currently so full of construction projects it’s not even funny.